So last Summer when I was in Haiti a customer turned friend messaged me saying how she thought I would make a good wedding official and suggested I find out how to get ordained. I focus on
unconditional love , happiness and positive communication. I am out going and choose to inspire others to new heights. She didn’t quite say all of those
things, but she made me feel pretty good about myself.
One Bright Sunny Sunday Morning
Fast forward about six months, I look at my Facebook feed and see that she is getting married that very day. I had pushed aside the ordained officiate concept and
have been focusing on ways to better communicate my existing services. In a moment of curiosity I said “Okay Google. How do I legally perform marriages in
New Jersey?” A plethora of websites were at my fingertips and I chose the AMM. Become an ordained minister in minutes. I found it ironic that I had just
been watching the movie Joyful Noise with Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah just a couple of weeks before and this same process revealed itself in the movie.
Come to find out it wasn’t a bit of Hollywood fiction. It really only took a matter of a couple of minutes and I was an ordained minister. Capable of joining
two souls in holy matrimony in addition to baptisms and other related services. Dependent upon the state of course.
Funny What Happens
So becoming ordained unlike many other diplomas and certifications came quite easily for the low cost of about $48. Compared to the value of my degree from
USC (Fight On!) , my masters form Widener or various other trainings both on and offline it was a veritable deal. Just another lesson to be learned that
sometimes things that are meant to be can just come to us easily and without stress. This ease of access brought a flood gate of ideas about ways I could
help couples that are in the process of planning their eternal bliss. Areas like communication, family planning, finances, and decision making. As a
studier of people it amazes me how for some a marriage license just finalizes a growing commitment whole for others it is a complete change.
From Theory to Practice
Of course just like when I was testing essential oils for their ability to improve libido, or the attraction journal program for its ability to help
transition mindset from lack to abundance; I would definitely want to test this program. So if anyone is engaged and would like a chance to work with me now
is a great time to be part of the process to help others. Drop me an email and let me know. Or feel free to share with a friend.
Online Cheating Sites and Infidelity-The Ashley Madison Relationship Impact
There were lots of statistics that came out of the announcement by the Impact Group when Active Life Media the parent company of AshleyMadison.com would not take down the online cheating site. The Impact Group was releasing personal information about the site’s users. There are several companies who created handy websites in an attempt to make it easier to verify online cheating on the site by searching to see if you or your significant others email was in the database. You can easily search by email address.( Use with caution as one such site started spamming users.) The Washington Post is doing a great job of keeping everyone updated. Another issue is that email addresses were not verified by Active Life Media. Of course these folks using the site were on the down low. So there is no telling how many people used their boss’s/brother-in-law’s/neighbor’s email address or just grabbed a random one from somewhere. One of the most amusing statistics was about the number of government employees using their work emails. I am sure they were not all fake. While the internet, social media and phone technology have made cheating even easier and feasible over longer distances; it has also made the ability to catch a cheater much easier as well. The information technology trail ofGPS systems and phone logs are very accessible. At the pinnacle of all this technology , the premier online cheating site was Ashley Madison. The online cheating membership site which was designed for confidentiality and bringing infidelity to men and women across the internet. For someone such as myself who is a proponent of maintaining both a joint and individual bank accounts; a cheating spouse buying credit could have quite an easy time for men in such enlightened relationships. But then again if he only looked and never actually met anyone is it still cheating? So many of the female account holders were fake profiles created by the Impact Group. Of course who was there to come forward and ask for a refund. “Not I,” said many a married man. Which brings up my main point of my writing. How do you define cheating?
The Definition of a Cheat
Webster’s Online Dictionary has the following definitions of cheat:
to break a rule or law usually to gain an advantage at something
to take something from (someone) by lying or breaking a rule
to prevent (someone) from having something that he or she deserves or was expecting to get
So looking at those definitions, where does cheating online,chatting or browsing online fit in? The thing that gets kind of complicated for couples is that no one really talks about how they define what it is to cheat or what the rules are. So while there are some very obvious forms of cheating such as a full-fledged affair complete with secret sex meetings and exchanges of devotion; technology can leave some grey areas around “chatting and shopping” online.
Here are a few scenarios to contemplate:
You are on a business trip and meet an attractive stranger. He buys you several drinks and flirts with you for several hours. He asks to friend you on Facebook. Is this cheating?
You have a “work husband”. You tell him everything including things about your sex life, you go to lunch often, and he often picks up the tab for you at happy hour. You tell him things you don’t even tell your significant other. Is this cheating?
You regularly turn the other cheek about your husband’s porn habit. You recently saw a match.com pop up and he says he is just looking at the pics. Some of the photos women put in their profile are pretty racy. Is this cheating?
In all of these scenarios, No one exchanged any bodily fluids. There was no need for contraceptives. So technically no one cheated. However, how would you or your significant other feel about these situations.
The Ashley Madison Opportunity
So what The Impact Group really gave us wasn’t personal data and an unfiltered email list; but instead we have an opportunity to open the dialogue about what cheating is for each couple, especially online cheating where things tend to get a bit grey. Just like other decisions in our lives, we can’t do what is right for everyone else we have to do what is right for us. No one else is walking our journey. So it is important to be vocal about what online cheating is to you and make your partner feel it is okay to do the same.
If you are okay with your significant other chatting or flirting on FB that is really only between the two of you. If your husband doesn’t believe in the concept of emotional infidelity; then he won’t think there is anything wrong with your “work husband” or having a peeping tom match.com account and therefore he won’t think of himself as anddoing any online cheating. Neither of you will know this until it may be too late, that is if you don’t talk about it. Insecurity and fear often keep people from asking. They may be afraid they are planting a seed. Just know it’s okay if you find out about something that doesn’t match between what your ideas about infidelity are and those of the one you love. It is better to find out and reach an agreeable compromise before someone steps over a line they didn’t know exists and it changes your relationship forever.
Esther Perel did a TED talk recently on infidelity and rethinking what it does in a relationships. I hope it is as thought povoking for you as it was for me.
So for all the women who were looking for new and exciting ways to plan gifts for him this Valentine’s Day, I created 2014 A Valentine’s Day He Will Never Forget. For the next week or so you can opt in on my website and get a free copy of this webinar. There are tons of ideas (50 to be exact) on ways to connect, tempt and seduce the man in your life. I also suggested items (or props if you may) to help make the gifts even more special. There are so many ideas that you could use one a week for almost an entire year or at the very least start a date night tradition with the man in your life.
My Inspiration for “Gifts for Him”
How does one go about choosing sexy, romantic memorable gifts for him? I have to thank Mary Beth Sanok of South Jersey Mom’s Magazine for her inspiration. She recently asked me if I could write something to help women choose gifts for the men in their lives that would put some of the passion back into Valentine’s Day. With the upcoming expectations about Fifty Shades of Greythe movie, we went with that theme. Mary Beth did a great job as an editor reining in my enthusiasm for the project and you can find the nice girl version of the list in the February 2014 issue of South Jersey Mom’s Magazine (on page 14 I might add).
My Valentine’s Gift to Ladies Everywhere
I enjoyed the task at hand so much and really wanted an opportunity to share it with lots of women who were looking for gifts for him that would be out of the ordinary, romantic, passionate and yes – sexy. While I understood why the magazine article needed to be a litte more on the nice girl side, the opportunity inspired me to step into the world of webinars.
Fifty Shades of Valentines – Gifts for Him to Make 2014 A Year He Will Never Forget
So are you wondering what happened to the original list of naughty but very nice gifts for him?
Well here it is. Completely unedited for your reading and his reading pleasure. Just reading the list to him in a sexy pair of red lace panties could be a gift for him!
Fifty Shades of Valentine’s … by Patricia Mooneyham (the Passion Professor)
Some say Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday, but the roots of the holiday go back centuries.
It really can be an opportunity to reach out to the one you love best and make him feel special.
Although I would agree 100% that you should love and be loved every day; there is nothing wrong with having a place in the calendar that makes you take a moment to evaluate your efforts.
Women often struggle with romantic gestures for the men in their lives, buying gifts for him that are special is its own challenge and one of the things
I often hear from my male clients is that they want to feel wanted.
So in honor of the upcoming Fifty Shades movie, here is a list of suggestions to help
you ensure the man in your life knows just how special he is.
The following list has a full range of ideas of gifts for him.
Choose one, a couple or one a week for the next year- whatever works best for you:
Serve him breakfast in bed
Warm his towel for him while his is taking his morning shower
Join him for his morning shower
Have his coffee waiting for him when he gets up
Get up early and be wearing whatever he finds you sexiest in when he wakes up
Find an erotic way to be his alarm clock
Leave a pair of your sexy panties in his lunch/laptop bag saying please return to owner later tonight
Put some spicy couples dice in an envelope on the seat of his car with a note asking him to teach you how to play
Bake his favorite kind of cookie into the shape of a heart and write a personalized special or naughty message on it
Make a coupon book of the chores he doesn’t like to do that he can use to redeem whenever
Practice a chair dance routine and perform it for him
Rent a hotel room for the evening and whisk him away for a few hours
Order Pizza and beer and have dinner wearing only his favorite team’s jersey
Buy him an expensive cigar and ask him what that makes him think about
Plan a movie night of all his favorite flicks and theater snacks
Send him suggestive text messages throughout the day
Play hooky from work together and spend the entire day in bed!
Just remember Valentine’s Day is on a Friday this year so be sure to secure your childcare plans early. Willing babysitters will be at a premium. Quality couple’s time can have spontaneity, but also requires some planning. It also teaches children that an important part of healthy adult relationships is time alone together which is a lesson that will help them in their own relationships when they get older.
Remember for relationship specific advice or more product information you can contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org .
Be sure to add your suggestions to add to this list in the comments section below!