Monthly Archives: February 2014

HPV Vaccine and Talking to Our Kids About Sex

Who Gets the HPV Vaccine

HPV Vaccine
To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate?

The HPV Vaccine has been approved for 8 years now. Unfortunately, most parents aren’t prepared for the conversation which should take place with their child when the question of the HPV vaccine comes around. Part of the reason is the HPV  vaccine is not mandatory here in the US.    It is also now being proposed for boys. While the target age for girls has been 11- 12 years of age.; vaccines are now suggested as early as the age of 9. I recently did an interview  about this very subject and  it is posted on my media page. HPV is an acronym for the Human Pappilomavirus. HPV is the most commonly transmitted sexual disease. I have researched reports from the CDC, the AMA and several other sources. Those sources have reported anywhere form 40 to 120 variations of HPV. The decision to innoculate your child with an HPV vaccine holds both responsibility as well as opportunity in terms of their future health both sexual and overall.

Which HPV Vaccine: Gardasil® and Cervarix®

Having a background in economics, I understand that statistics can be found and used to support just about anything. If you calculate them the right way. Some of the information regarding the driving need and the importance of this vaccine may require additional questioning by some. For instance the instances of cervical cancer used to support the need for the HPV vaccine include data from developing countries which do not have the sophistication or access to gynecological care as we do here in the US.

What is important is that you know there are two different vaccines available. Gardisil® vaccinates against 4 variations of HPV (#6, #11, #16 & #18).  Cervarix® on the other hand only primarily protects agains HPV strands #16 & #18.  If you are not familiar with the required testing for a vaccination, it may come as a shock to you that they are not tested for long term side effects or viability. This is not just true of these vaccines. The vaccine approval process is a whole other topic for another time. Something very important to note is that Guardisil® has been in use for 8 years and to date has shown that it protects for  up to 8 years.  This is very important when you think about the fact that these vaccinations are being given to youths as young as 9. These youths may not become sexually active for another ten years. We have no way of knowing until year ten if a booster will be needed or not.

The Decision to Vaccinate Your Child with an HPV Vaccine is a Personal One

While I am an advocate of informed decisions and empowering knowledge. I am not a doctor. However  in my research, I did find a fabulous book for parents written by a gynecologist out of NYC by the name of Dr. Shobha S. Krishnan. Her book The HPV Vaccine Controversy: Sex, Cancer, God, and Politics: A Guide for Parents, Women, Men, and Teenagers is a worthy investment if you have no idea where to start or if you are struggling with whether or not to vaccinate your child.

There are lots of factors that go into deciding abut vaccines and your child. Some people are completely opposed to vaccines as a whole. In those cases, this is a no brainer. However, it is just as important for you to talk to your child about safe sex. You will just find another way to discuss what HPV is and it’s affects. If you have vaccinated your child in the past, but now are uneasy about continuing vaccinations or about this vaccination in particular some things you want to consider is your values around sex. The example you set will have a huge impact on your children’s sexual behavior. Not talking about sex or acknowledging that people have sex is not an effective approach. Stressing the importance of self respect and asking questions about a potential partner’s sexual history are difficult to tackle with a 9 year old. Explaining to them that there are diseases that are associated with sexual activity  and what is safe sex versus unsafe sex may be a little easier for them to understand.

Important factors you may want to consider when making a decision about the HPV Vaccine are your family history of cervical cancer, as well as adverse side effects of the vaccine. The HPV vaccine has also had reports of adverse side effects in those patients who suffer from celiac Disease. So, if your child has a history of autoimmune issues you may want to take a closer look at some of the warnings for the HPV vaccine around those cases.

Now Let’s Talk About Sex – And Your Children 

How do you talk to your teen about sex?
How do you talk to your child about sex?

I get asked questions often from parents about how to talk to their children about sex.  The timing of this vaccine is a perfect opportunity to discuss with your child what constitutes sex. Especially since HPV can be transmitted by genital to genital contact and does not require penetration (as in intercourse) for someone to infect their partner. Although the urgency for the HPV Vaccine has been targeted at cervical cancer, other genitalia can be affected. The throat can also be infected if oral favors are part of sexual play.

As an expert, I often have to ask parents “How do you define sex?” Until they have a perspective on their own definition, it is hard to give them guidance about talking to their child. Once we have jumped that hurdle then the answer is as individual as the famaily and the child.

If you have never talked about sex with your child, the hurdle is much higher and the conversation is much different than if you have been using proper terminology and positive dialogue about sex and sexuality since your child’s toddler years. There are lots of places to look in everyday life to bring up the topic. The media uses sex all the time in advertising.  So just watching TV with your child and waiting for a commercial that uses sex is one way. There is also the Bible which has all kinds of references to sexual behavior both good and bad.  Another great place with younger children is at a zoo or a farm. Animals are a great way to talk objectively about reproduction. From reproduction  you can transition to talking about sexuality.

The most important thing to remember when talking to your teens is to make it non-accusatory and more about wanting the best for them. Making a decision regarding the HPV vaccine can open an opportunity for dialogue if you have not talked about sexual activity in the past. This is such an important time in their life.

Please feel free to share comments on how you have talked to your child successfully about sex below. It can help other parents!

For questions about talking to your child about sex or the HPV Vaccine comment below or contact me at:

thepassionprofessor @ patriciamooneyham.com

xoxo

Patricia

The Passion Professor

Gifts for Him – A Valentine’s He Will Never Forget

Valentine's Gifts for Him
Gifts for Him Valentine’s 2014

So for all the women who were looking for new and exciting ways to plan gifts for him this Valentine’s Day, I created 2014 A Valentine’s Day He Will Never Forget. For the next week or so you can opt in on my website and get a free copy of this webinar. There are tons of ideas (50 to be exact) on ways to connect, tempt and seduce the man in your life.  I also suggested items (or props if you may) to help make the gifts even more special. There are so many ideas that you could use one a week for almost an entire year or at the very least start a date night tradition with the man in your life.

My Inspiration for “Gifts for Him”

How does one go about choosing sexy, romantic memorable gifts for him? I have to thank Mary Beth Sanok of South Jersey Mom’s Magazine for her inspiration. She recently asked me if I could write something to help women choose gifts for the men in their lives that would  put some of the passion back into Valentine’s Day. With the upcoming expectations about Fifty Shades of Grey the movie, we went with that theme. Mary Beth did a great job as an editor reining in my enthusiasm for the project and you can find the nice girl version of the list in the February 2014 issue of South Jersey Mom’s Magazine (on page 14 I might add). 

My Valentine’s Gift to Ladies Everywhere

I enjoyed the task at hand so much and really wanted an opportunity to share it with lots of women who were looking for gifts for him that would be out of the ordinary, romantic, passionate and yes –  sexy. While I understood why  the magazine article needed to be a litte more on the nice girl side, the opportunity inspired me to step into the world of webinars.

Fifty Shades of Valentines – Gifts for Him to Make 2014 A Year He Will Never Forget

So are you wondering what happened to the original list of naughty but very nice gifts for him?

Well here it is. Completely unedited for your reading and his reading pleasure. Just reading the list to him in a sexy pair of red lace panties could be a gift for him!

52 weeks
Games Couples Play

Fifty Shades of Valentine’s …
by Patricia Mooneyham (the Passion Professor)

Some say Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday, but the roots of the holiday go back centuries.
It really can be an opportunity to reach out to the one you love best and make him feel special.
Although I would agree 100% that you should love and be loved every day; there is nothing wrong with having a place in the calendar that makes you take a moment to evaluate your efforts.
Women often struggle with romantic gestures for the men in their lives, buying gifts for him that are special is its own challenge and one of the things
I often hear from my male clients is that they want to feel wanted.
So in honor of the upcoming Fifty Shades movie, here is a list of suggestions to help
you ensure the man in your life knows just how special he is.
The following list has a full range of ideas of gifts for him.

Choose one, a couple or one a week for the next year- whatever works best for you:
  1. Serve him breakfast in bed
  2. Warm his towel for him while his is taking his morning shower
  3. Join him for his morning shower
  4. Have his coffee waiting for him when he gets up
  5. Get up early and be wearing whatever he finds you sexiest in when he wakes up
  6. Find an erotic way to be his alarm clock
  7. Leave a pair of your sexy panties in his lunch/laptop bag saying please return to owner later tonight
  8. Put some spicy couples dice in an envelope on the seat of his car with a note asking him to teach you how to play
  9. Bake his favorite kind of cookie into the shape of a heart and write a personalized special or naughty message on it
  10. Make a coupon book of the chores he doesn’t like to do that he can use to redeem whenever
  11. Practice a chair dance routine and perform it for him
  12. Rent a hotel room for the evening and whisk him away for a few hours
  13. Order Pizza and beer and have dinner wearing only his favorite team’s jersey
  14. Buy him an expensive cigar and ask him what that makes him think about
  15. Plan a movie night of all his favorite flicks and theater snacks
  16. Send him suggestive text messages throughout the day
  17. Blind fold him and feed him his favorite foods
  18. Play Strip Poker with him
  19. Rub his feet with lotions that have sandalwood or vanilla
  20. Give him a full body massage with both of you au natural
  21. Play twenty questions with him
  22.  Make reservations at a restaurant that the two of you have never been to before and wear a very sexy dress
  23. Cut out pictures of erotic images or words and hide them where he will find them throughout the day
  24. Make him a romantic candlelit dinner of all his favorite foods
  25. Go for a romantic walk on the beach and tell him all of the things that you love about him
  26. Call when you know he won’t answer and leave him a steamy message on his voicemail
  27. Buy him a book about something he has expressed an interest and then write a personalized message to him in it
  28. Write him a love letter and have it delivered to him at work
  29. Buy tickets to a sporting event or concert for the two of you to go on a special date
  30. Invite him to meet you at home for lunch and greet him at the door in trench coat and heels
  31. Curl up with a bottle of wine and read an erotic novel to him
  32. Take a bubble bath together complete with candlelight and music
  33. Get a book about erotic massage and practice on each other
  34. Ask him to share a fantasy with you and then act it out with him
  35. Leave a blindfold and scarves some where only he can find them and a note with a time on it
  36. Send him a single red rose and tell him he is the One
  37. Dress up like a celebrity and do a strip tease for him
  38. Make an evening of watching all of his favorite TV programs and snuggle together on the couch
  39. Be sure to make out with him during the commercials
  40. Challenge him to a video game competition and place a bet on the outcome
  41. Pick your favorite slow song and dance with him in a state of undress
  42. Tell him something that you think is really special about the way he makes you feel about yourself and then kiss him passionately until you both lose your breath
  43. Make an appointment at a spa for a couples massage
  44. Make a donation in his name to his favorite charity
  45. Cook dinner together in the nude
  46. Make ice cream sundaes together and get creative with the toppings
  47. Plan a fantasy adults only vacation and make a vision board together
  48. Meet him for lunch, slip him an envelope with your panties in it after you are seated and let him wonder
  49. Buy him a manual of sex positions and read it together
  50.  Play hooky from work together and spend the entire day in bed!

Just remember Valentine’s Day is on a Friday this year so be sure to secure your childcare plans early. Willing babysitters will be at a premium. Quality couple’s time can have spontaneity, but also requires some planning. It also teaches children that an important part of healthy adult relationships is time alone together which is a lesson that will help them in their own relationships when they get older.

Remember for relationship specific advice or more product information you can contact me at:   thepassionprofessor@patriciamooneyham.com .

Be sure to add your suggestions to add to this list in the comments section below!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

xoxo

Gidt Ideas
A Valentine He Will Never Forget

The Passion Professor